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Wrong Board
By Skarloey
The General Board is important, and so is the TV Series
Discussion one. They both are popular with fans of the TV show, but don’t have much in the way of Railway Series threads.
That is why Ryan has made a new board – The Railway Series, for purists and other fans alike, where all RWS related
threads go.
If, however, you had heard Chris talking to Skarloey a short while ago, you would have thought that Ryan had
made the board for quite another reason.
“It’s not fair,” grumbled Chris.
“What isn’t
fair?” asked Skarloey.
“Letting TV series fans go on the RWS board.”
“Never mind, Chris, I’m
sure that you can go in the TV series boards. That would make it quite fair.”
Chris spluttered furiously. “I
won’t watch those crappy episodes! I won’t go in them boards!”
“Why not? It would be a nice change.”
said Skarloey. “Anyway, you’ve got most of the episodes on DVD!”
“Shut up!” snapped Chris,
realising the plot flaw, “Ryan would never approve. TV series boards are vulgar.”
He closed the MSN conversation
in a dignified manner. Skarloey chuckled, and followed him onto the forums…
Chris says it was the n00b’s
fault. He wanted Chris’ opinion on one of his new threads, and had given Chris the URL to it through MSN.
Chris opened
the link, to find himself in the new thread, one about a Series 10 episode list, in the TV Series board.
The n00b had also
showed Skarloey the link, and then said that Chris had been shown. Skarloey laughed, and told Road Roller straight away.
Skarloey
and Road Roller joined Chris in a MSN conversation…
In the end, Chris had looked at the thread, then closed the
window and began to sulk. Skarloey and Road Roller peeped into the conversation. Teasing Chris would be great fun!
“What’s
that?” asked Road Roller loudly.
“Ssh!” whispered Skarloey. “It’s Chris.”
“It
looks like Chris, but it can’t be. Chris never goes in the TV series board – he thinks that it’s vulgar.”
Chris
pretended that he hadn’t seen that last post.
“If it isn’t Chris,” said Skarloey, “it’s
just a n00bish member…”
“…which we’d better send to an inferior forum.”
“No,
Bono, this one’s useless for a forum like that.” laughed Skarloey. “We’ll take it to Whitehaven harbour,
and dump it in the sea!”
Chris and the Readers were alarmed. “I am Chris! STOP! STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!”
“Argh!”
cried the Readers. “We knew a mention of Cumbria would appear somewhere!”
Bono liked this idea, so Skarloey
explained all about it. He said that it would be kinder to give this n00b a quick end in the sea.
Besides, he went on,
it would make a lovely splash, well, it had been through many sunken shopping trolleys, litter and other foul things lurking
in the dark waters.
Chris hoped that he’d get chucked out to a n00bish forum.
Just then, BoCo appeared, from
his hideaway in the stock cupboard, but Chris didn’t call for help.
“Chris!” called Skarloey. “Your
line is – ‘BoCo, my dear engine! Save me!’”
“No!” replied Chris. “This isn’t
BoCo – it’s Boco!”
“Of course!” said Bono. “The TV series engine is spelled ‘Boco’…
oh well, looks like it’s Whitehaven harbour for you, Chris!”
Boco decided to go and tour the world, so
set off for Manchester Airport, but not after he had to build a bridge from Vicarstown to Barrow, and then had to take a diversion
to Ravenglass, up the Cumbrian coast, then got pulled along the La’al Ratty to Boot. Then, he was put on a lorry, which
drove up Eskdale towards Hardknott Pass. The pass is treacherous, and after a week, the lorry finally reached the top. Then
it went down the other side and crashed. After it was repaired, it set off again, and after another couple of weeks reached
the summit of Wrynose Pass. Eventually, they reached Windermere, where Boco was put onto the rails again, and set off towards
the West Coast Main Line, only to find that there were more works going on over there, as it was the weekend.
“Oh,
sod this!” exclaimed Boco. “Back to the store cupboard for me!”
And so, the great hand of the TV series
crew picked him up, and took him back to the basement store cupboard.
“Home at last.” smiled Boco. But there
was a problem – while he was gone, Duck, Oliver, Donald, Douglas, Daisy, Duke and Sir Handel had all been recruited
for Series 10, so Boco was all alone… at least, until Skarloey broke into the set and destroyed Emily, and then her
remaining pieces kept Boco company.
The moral of the story is this – there isn’t one.
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