Skarloey Takes Charge

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Skarloey Takes Charge
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Skarloey Takes Charge
By Skarloey

“Do you know what?” asked JimBobDunnie.
“What?” grunted Chris.
“Do you know what?”
“Silly,” said Chris crossly, “of course I don’t know what, if you don’t tell me what what is.”
“Ryan says that the threads in the boards are too many for me. He’s getting a new member to help me post in them.”
“Rubbish!” put in Alaric. “Any member could do it,” he went on grandly. “If you posted more and MSN’d less, SIF would be a sweeter, a better, and a happier place.”

Jimbob went off to play rugby,
“That stupid old n00b,” he thought, “no one listens to me now. They think I’m a n00bish member, and order me about.
“I’ll show then! I’ll show them!” he fumed, as he ran with the ball. But he didn’t know how.
Things went wrong, the other team slaughtered Jimbob and his mates, the crowd booed them, and by the end of the afternoon he felt tired and unhappy.
He went online on MSN, and sat sadly at his computer desk.

“Hullo, Jimbob!” said Ryan, in a new conversation, “you look tired.”***
“Yes, Sir, I am, Sir; I don’t know if I’m standing on my head or my feet.”
“You look the right way up to me,” laughed Ryan. “Cheer up! The new member is faster at typing than you, and can probably do the work alone. Would you like to help write a new parody for Sodor Island Fansite? RoadRoller and Stepneydude will help; but I need a member to write the main part of the story.”
“Oh, yes, Sir, thank you, Sir!” said Jimbob happily.

The new member arrived next morning.
“What is your name?” asked Ryan kindly.
“Eliot, Sir; but I’m usually called ‘Skarloey’. They say I’m a G.O.B.S.H.I.T.E; I’m not really, Sir, but I like ‘Skarloey’ better than Eliot.”
“Good!” said Ryan. “‘Skarloey’ it shall be! Here Jimbob, come and show ‘Skarloey’ round.”
The two members went off together. At first the n00bs posted crap, but soon found that ticking Skarloey off was a mistake. The nice members behaved well, though Alaric, Chris and Christopher did not.

They watched Skarloey quietly doing his posting.
“He seems a simple sort of member,” they whispered through PM, “we’ll have some fun.
“Blah-blah-blah-blah! Blah-blah-blah-blah!” they spammed through PM to him.
Jimbob was cross; but Skarloey took no notice.
“They’ll get tired of it soon,” he said.
Presently the three members began to order Skarloey about.
Skarloey stopped. “Do they tell you to do things, Jimbob?” he asked.
“Yes they do,” lied Jimbob sadly.
“Right,” said Skarloey, “we’ll soon stop that nonsense.” He whispered something…. “We’ll do it tonight.”

Ryan had had a good day. There had been no grumbling members, all the members had posted well, and Skarloey had made a good first impression.
Ryan was looking forward to a good night’s kip at home.
He was about to log off when an MSN conversation from several members popped up. “Bother!” he said, and opened the conversation.
Christopher, Chris and Alaric were ranting and raving furiously; while Skarloey and Jimbob calmly reasoned, and explaining why they had been paying the ruder members out.

“STOP THAT NOISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111” Ryan bellowed.
“Now, Chris.”
“They keep spamming our threads,” hissed the big members crossly.
“Skarloey, explain this behaviour.”
“Beg pardon, Sir, but I’m a Cumbrian member. We Cumbrian members do our posting without Fuss; but we are not ordered about by other members. You, Sir, are out Admin. We will, of course, stop spamming if you order us; but, begging your pardon, Sir, Jimbob and I would be glad if you would inform these---er--- members that we only take orders from you.”

The three big members posted angrily.
“SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111” snapped Ryan.
“Jimbob and Skarloey, I am pleased with your posting today; but not with your behaviour tonight. You have caused a Disturbance.”
Chris, Christopher and Alaric each posted “lol”. They stopped suddenly when Ryan turned on them. “As for you,” he thundered, “you’ve been worse. You made the Disturbance. Skarloey is quite right. This is My Forum, and I give the orders.”
When Jimbob went to write his parody, Skarloey was left to post alone.
He did so…easily!

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