Sodor Island Parody Pack

Thomas and the Unfounded Allegations

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"Can you believe this?" said Thomas to Percy and Toby in the sheds one day.
"Believe what?" asked Percy.
"Despite the strong headway we've been making into having more females presented in our show, we're still being accused of sexism," Thomas explained.
"That's just unfair," said Toby. "Think of all the positive female role models we have on the show."
"Yeah," added Percy. "Like Mavis, and Emily, and Elizabeth...well, Mavis and Emily at any rate."
"That's right," Thomas nodded, despite not having a neck. "And all the other females too."
There was a pause.
"Like who, Thomas?" asked Percy.
"Well, there's...Mrs. Kyndley, for one."
"Yeah, she teaches young girls that they can always count on a man to rescue her," Toby agreed.
The engine considered this.
"Well, fair enough. They may have a point. But what about...Molly?"
"Ah yes," said Percy. "Er, what exactly did she do again?"
"Well she...you know...did the thing."
"True, I guess," said Toby. "But she didn't really teach much, did she?"
Another pause came.
"Annie and Clarabel!" exclaimed Thomas suddenly. "You two are good role models, right?"
"Yes, Mr. Thomas," said Annie.
"Whatever you say, Mr. Thomas," said Clarabel.
"There you are, you see?" Thomas beamed.
"And there's Henrietta," Toby added.
"Who?" asked Thomas and Percy.
"Henrietta!" Toby frowned. "My coach, remember?"
"You mean the one who didn't say much?" asked Thomas.
"That's right, yeah."
"And hey, what about you Toby?" said Percy. "You're a good influence on young girls."
"But I'm not a girl, Percy. So I can't be considered a role model."
Percy paused. "You're not a girl?"
"Er, no. Isn't that obvious?" asked Toby.
"Then why do you wear a skirt?"
"I don't wear a skirt. These are my cowcatchers, silly."
"Looks like a skirt to me," Percy muttered.
"Well it's not, it's my cowcatchers, you twit!" said Toby angrily.
"Hey, alright, calm down. Looks like it's somebody's time of the month," said Percy subtly.
"Look, just shut up Percy! I am not a girl!" Toby nearly screamed.
"OK, calm down honey," said Thomas, in a calm manner.
"Well it's just he's so...wait. What did you just call me?"
"Oh sorry. Would you rather I called you 'sweetie'?"
"Oh, this is just ridiculous!" said Toby, exasperated.
"Hey, chill out love. No need to get your pretty head upset," said Thomas.
"Don't give me pet names!" Toby shouted.
Daisy rolled up. "Typical, isn't it? You men are all the same!" she said to Thomas and Percy. "Come with me Toby, us girls have to stick together."
"DARGH!" screamed Toby. "Sod this for a game of soldiers!"
And he puffed away.
"What was all that about?" asked Percy.
"Hormones," explained Thomas.

Sodor Island Parody Pack