Sodor Island Parody Pack

Stepney Gets Lost


Stepney the bluebell engine works very closely with his friend Rusty. One day The Fat Controller came to see him.
“Good morning Stepney, Rusty tells me you’re in need of a change so you can help out Toby and Mavis at the Quarry.” he announced.
“Oh thank you sir.” he smiled gleefully.
“But please remember that it’s easy to get lost up there and be back safely before dark.” replied TFC. “I will be down at the seaside with the misses and grandchildren today so I want no monkey business right?”
“Will do sir.” answered Stepney.
“I bid you farewell.” finished TFC as he took off his top hat to reveal a striped knotted hankie on his head.

And so Stepney spend most of his day down at the Quarry pulling trucks around. The dustier he was, the harder he worked; Mavis and Toby were impressed. He was covered in quarry dust throughout but he didn’t mind.
“Who do you think I am Henry?” he joked. Later on the Quarry foreman spoke to his driver.
“We have a night special to take to the building site of the new branch line, do you want to pull the train?”
“Yes please.” said his driver but he should’ve asked the Fat Controller first.
“Driver, I think we need consent from The Fat Controller for this task.” Stepney pointed out.
“Nonsense Stepney old boy, remember that TFC is away at the seaside today, we don’t want to spoil his day. “

That night Stepney was getting ready to take off when Toby gave him a few pointers about his journey.
“Be careful” he warned “There have been a vast collection of oddities prowling the lines. From badgers and foxes to garden gnomes and retired popstars.”
“Yeah what Toby said, the line can be spooooky.” tittered Mavis.
“Not now Mavis, take care Stepney.” finished Toby before Stepney chuffed into the dark with his trail of trucks.

Stepney made it right on time and without any retired pop stars jumping out and harassing him. After making the delivery of rock and stone for the workmen he was uncoupled and set off for home. Then that’s when the trouble began. Fog covered the tracks and there was a faint whistle in the night sky.
“Mavis is right, everything does look spooky.” he gasped. Stepney sometimes overcomes his fear of darkness by singing his favourite songs to himself. “Is this the way to Amarillo?”
“No it isn’t.” interrupted his fireman who had a disliking for Peter Kay.
It wasn’t long until Stepney saw the outline of a little girl amidst the fog.
“What are you doing here at this time of night?” asked the driver.
“I heard that you were singing to yourself, may I sing as well to make you happy?” she said coldly.
“Well why not?” replied the bluebell engine. But that was a huge mistake for Stepney.
“Bloody hell it’s a banshee!” screamed the fireman. And that song gave the driver a nasty jolt and Stepney bolted blindly down the line and past a set of points that the driver was too shocked to notice.

When the driver recovered they found out that they were in an unknown area.
“It’s best that we rest here until the fog clears.” suggested the driver. Then magically the fog cleared.
“Oh no we’re in the scrap yard!” exclaimed Stepney.
His driver and fireman got out. “Where are you both going? You can’t leave me here you b*****ds!” he frowned.
“We’re only going to Finnegan’s for some fish and chips; don’t worry we’ll get you a bag of chips as well.”

Stepney was alone but not for long, two identical diesels approached and surrounded him.
“You’ll make very fine scrap indeed.” said the handsome diesel. “Buffer him Bert.”
The diesels took him to the large smelters shed where above stood a large chrome grabber with a long black cord hanging off from its side.
“Any last words?” asked Bert, the ugly diesel.
“Bye bye Stepney.” finished ‘Arry.
Then the grabber above him was slowly lowering itself over him. Just as it was above to grab Stepney it stopped.

There stood the Fat Controller holding a fishing net and a carp hanging off of his waist by its teeth.
“It’s a good thing that I’ve chosen to visit this yard tonight to save you from scrap again and I won‘t have it so please stop it.” said TFC.
“Yes but how did you manage to be here at this precise moment?” asked Stepney.”
“Ah, ever since I’ve had a head on collision riding on Gordon I have acquired a supernatural power that allows me to sense an engine about to receive an accident anywhere at any time. Sadly its side effects include having short sentences repeated in my head.”

“I’m sorry sir but I have learned something.” said Stepney.
“What’s that?”
“That there’s no-”
“Really useful engine!” exclaimed TFC. “Sorry please continue.”
“That’s there’s no place like home.”
“And that’s exactly where you’re going now.”

But it was a turn for the worst. Then TFC turned around his fishing net knocked over the controls to the grabber and the claw is now clamping Stepney and pulling him upwards.
“This is no way to end a story.” he complained as the grabber moved over to the pit below.
The grabber let go of Stepney but something wasn’t right. Instead of being incinerated in the boiling pot he was on solid ground with a circle of light in front of him. Then a gigantic hand emerged and grabbed Stepney and pulled him into the light.
“Oh shi-”
“I’VE GOT STEPNEY!!!” boomed a deafening voice from above that could break every window in Tidmouth sheds.

“Agh!” Stepney awoke in his shed. There The Fat Controller was standing in front of him.
“Good morning Stepney, Rusty tells me you’re in need of a change so you can help out Toby and Mavis at the Quarry.” he announced. “Is that true then?”
Just before Stepney were to answer he heard what sounded like flashbacks (it was actually the plonkers playing loudly at Maithwaite Arcades)

Audio: beep beep beep beep caboom! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Lalalalalalala YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

“Er, no he didn’t!” replied the bluebell engine. “If you don’t mind I’ve got a claustrophobic branch line to run!” and off went Stepney trying to avoid the fat man and the arcades.

Sodor Island Parody Pack