Sodor Island Parody Pack

Snow

snowlogo.jpg

Winner of the Most Imaginative Name in the Evening Where you Win Awards for Creative Mind Thingies Evening

It was winter time on the Island. Snow covered the tracks and fields. This is opposed to the towns and cities, which were suffering heat-waves. Take note people, it all happens in the tracks and fields. Its the place to be this winter. All the engines were hard at work, except Percy. He had attempted to hide himself under a bunch of snow, however with a lack of hands he had done a poor job of it. It was so bad, it was worthy of a small column in the Daily Mail. Or the New York times, for all you Americans (see? Who said JimBobDunnie never took care of his friends across the pond?! George Clooney, thats who). Thomas presently turned up.

"Come on Percy! This is no time for a rest!"
"I'm stuck, you berk," replied Percy, "whats it look like to you?"
"Hah!" said Thomas. Not even his dictionary like brain could help him think of something clever to say, so he didn't.

However, revenge came through the form of snow (never!) and Thomas himself got stuck. I would've called this poetic justice, but so far nothings rhymed so it wouldn't make sense.

"Bah" exclaimed the tank engine, continuing his little '_ah' pattern. Rusty happened to be close, just like there happened to be oil in the countries America invaded (hah! Take that Clooney!)

"Driver says this winter is worse than the winter that was worse as the last worse winter which was as bad as the winter prior to it," he said.
"How worse?" Thomas asked.
"I'll tell you," the diesel replied. However, this wasn't what Thomas wanted to know. He had really wanted to know what Rusty had said, but once the diesel started he never stopped. Bit like the Pringles slogan.

The story told of Skarloey. Now, if I followed suit, I would've mentioned how HiT made him bigger, younger in personality, and this and that. However, I shan't. Waita min'...

Now, snow presented a problem at the quarry through making it harder to work. Although, the snow did help by acting as a second barrier behind the buffers preventing the trucks falling into the nearby ravine and most ultimately, their deaths. As if they would ever do that though, hey?

This particular day, Skarloey was pulling empty trucks to the quarry. However, this is ir-relevant because all the action was happening at the quarry (take note people tracks, fields and quarries. Go there, and your hip). The winch which took the trucks up and down the incline was broken, and now it was going from side to side. Thats the last time The Thin Controller shopped at Ikea. Back to Skarloey, he was going through the ravine until his driver stopped him.

"That snow looks dangerous," the wooden man said, motioning to the top of the cliffs, "the noise of your engine could cause a avanlanche...I know! Lets create a bigger noise!"

Okay, this wasn't exactly what he said, but he might've well said it.

A cap was stragically placed on the track and Skarloey ran over it. Nothing happened.

"Good!," his Driver said, "We'll have a cup of cocoa (the ultimate winter drink in Sodor, it appears) and continue."

Back at the quarry, all was not well. Despite the thing being broken, the dim quarrymen had sent up a line of trucks which had been filled with slate. They descented slowly until, as on que, they decided to snap the winch. Oh those darn trucks, what will they do next? The line of trucks charged down the incline like a line of trucks charging down a hill.

"Don't worry!" a quarryman called, "the barrier will stop them!"

But it didn't and the trucks continued in their charging rampage.

"My bad," called the quarryman.

It was then the trucks realised of their upcoming doom.

"Clucking bell!" called the front truck.
"We're hoody for it now!" called the second.
"Why did you think of doing this, you nun of a itch!"
"Bell no, I can't die like this!"
"What the f*** is going on up there?" called the last truck, who obviously hadn't caught onto the trucks censoring program.

They all plunged into the ravine and all went calm.

"Well that was lucky," a truck commented.

Then the snow slowly started to move.

"My bad."

A rumbling echo sounded in the ravine.

"Avalanche!" called his fireman in a alarming tone which suggested alarm, but it was too late. The snow caved in upon Skarloey, completly burying him.

"Now here comes the funny part" Rusty smiled, saying a lot about my parody writting skills. Cheers Rusty...

"Whats so funny about a avalanche?" Thomas questioned, generally speaking for all of us. You didn't see no-one laughing when theres a natural disaster, do you? Okay, perhaps some sad manical, but their usually taken to the funny farm a few moments after.

"Well..."

...

Oh right, thats my que.

Well, no-one realised that the heat from Skarloey's engine had created a huge block of ice and the men tried to guess what it could be.
"A igloo!" one guessed.
"A snowball!" said another.
"A snow angel!"
"A sculpture showing the difficulties displayed between the English and Scotish monarchies during the reign of Elizabeth I!"
"My house!"

It turned out to be Skarloey, much to the disappointment of the workman who had placed bets on what it could've been. For the record, Skarloey had come in at 250/1 and the sculpture at 3/1.

"...and the funny thing was that the driver and fireman were still in the cab drinking cocoa as if nothing had happened!"

There was a pause.

"Thats funny?" Thomas asked, disgusted.
"What?"
"I'm meant to be laughing at that?"
"Well..."
"They could've died!"
"Still..."
"Suffered frost bite even!"
"But..."
"Hell, Rusty if you think thats funny, watch Silence of the Lambs. This guy goes round eating people, you'll probably leak oil from laughing!"

Before Rusty could reply with one word once more, Gordon passed by with a impressive machine.

"Watch out, Beadle's about!" he called, "And some snow!"

However, the noise from the machine made snow from the top of the tunnel to collapse on the big blue engine.

"Help!" he called.

"Hey!" Rusty called, "If Skarloey can survive an avalanche, surely you can take a lump of snow?"

A pause came about between the three engines.

"P*** off Rusty," said Gordon the big blue engine.

Sodor Island Parody Pack