Sodor Island Parody Pack

Mikey The Swearing Engine

mikeytheswearingengine.jpg

The engines of Sodor were busier than ever. There was no end of work to be done, and they were tired out. They were glad when a new engine came to help out.
“This is Mikey,” said the Fat Controller. “He has come to help out with all this extra work.”
“Good ******* morning, everyone,” said Mikey.
“What’s “*******”? asked Percy.
Thomas was showing Mikey around the yard. “Be careful with the trucks, Mikey,” said Thomas. “They can be trouble.”
“No ******* problem,” said Mikey. “I’ll show those little *****.”
Thomas winced. “Do you have to swear so much?” he said. “We do have the children to think of, you know.”
“Hey, I’m just talking. If you have some kind of ******* problem with the way I ******* talk, you can stick it up your ****.” Mikey buffered up to the trucks. He tried to pull, but the trucks wouldn’t move.
“Hold back! Hold back!” they laughed.
“Come on, you ******** *****,” snarled Mikey. “Get a ******* move on, you ****-****** ******* or I’ll ***** ** ***** ******* and ****** with ***** **** ******* **** ***** between your teeth!” The trucks were so astounded by this burst of foul language that they forgot to hold back and started moving. “******* *!” exclaimed Mikey as he puffed away.
That night, back at the sheds, Mikey taught the engines all sorts of exciting new words.
“What’s ‘********’?” asked Percy.
“You’ll find out when you’re older,” said Toby. “Much older.”
“What’s going on?” asked Thomas as he puffed into the shed.
“We’re learning how to swear!” said Percy. “******* ******** **** **** ********!”
“I didn’t even know that was a swearword,” said Edward.
“Technically it’s a ******* medical term,” said Mikey. “But really it’s a matter of ******* style.”
“The Fat Controller won’t like this,” said Thomas.
“**** off!” said Mikey chirpily.
The next day, Thomas went to see the Fat Controller. “Sir!” he said. “Mikey keeps swearing! He’s got all the other engines swearing as well! Even the trucks have been calling me a ‘sanctimonious ******!’”
The Fat Controller laughed. “Thomas, do you really think I give a ****?”

NEXT WEEK: Thomas loses an eye.

Sodor Island Parody Pack