Sodor Island Parody Pack

Thomas The King Engine

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One day Thomas was waiting at Knapford station when his driver's mobile phone began to ring.
"Hello?" the driver answered. "It's the Fat Controller for you Thomas," he said, holding the phone to Thomas' face.
"Thomas, I've been kidnapped by pirates. Send Harold the Helicopter to rescue me. Oh, and until I get back, you're in charge," said the Fat Controller, the sound of clashing swords ringing in the background.
"Understood, sir!" said Thomas happily. He was proud to be the new leader of Sodor.

Early the next morning, Thomas arrived at Tidmouth Sheds. He was wearing a golden crown studded with fabulous jewels.
"Listen up you lot!" shouted Thomas. "The Fat Controller has gone away on holiday for a bit. I'm in charge of the island now, and there's going to be some changes!"
"Go away Thomas, we're trying to sleep!" cried Henry.
"Insolent whelp! You shall be punished! Guards! To the dungeon with him!"
"Yes your majesty!" said 'Arry and Bert, who were also at Tidmouth Sheds apparently. They coupled up to Henry and dragged him away. The sound of Henry's screams could be heard for miles.
"Anyone else wish to raise their voice to me?" Thomas asked sternly. The other engines looked scared.
"Now then, I have some new orders to decree. Order number 1 is that all other blue engines must be painted a different colour, so that I may be more unique."
"Disgraceful!" Gordon spluttered.
"What was that, Gordon? Do I need to get my guards here again?"
"Erm, I mean, disgraceful that we should stand in the way of your uniqueness by being blue, Thomas."
"Your majesty."
"Yes, yes, of course, my apologies your majesty!"
"Very well. Order number 2, silly accents will no longer be tolerated!"
James gulped.
"Order number 3, in order to save on coaches, all third class passengers will travel in coal trucks."
"Thomas," said Emily, "Do ye no think ye're maybe letting the power go t'your head a wee bit? I don't think the Fat Controller would..."
"How'd you like to be my queen?"
"...Long live King Thomas!" Emily shouted.
"Can I be a prince, Thomas?" asked Percy eagerly.
"No, I plan to make you my royal fool. You will perform silly actions for my amusement," said Thomas.
"Well, it's better than being a serf, I guess."

For the rest of the day, Thomas reigned over the island with an iron fist, establishing draconian laws over everyone.
"I tell you Edward, I don't think I can stand this much longer!" said Gordon, who was now a deep shade of orange.
"I say we revolt!" cried Edward, now coloured a lovely shade of purple. "We shall rise against this tyrant and establish a new republic!"
"Oi!" cried Bill and Ben, who were passing by. "Saying stuff like that is against the law of the King! To the dungeon with you!"
Edward gasped. "So even the faithful twins have gone against me. What was your price? How much did you sell your souls for?"
"You should show more respect to the new dukes of Brendam Docks," Bill sneered.
"Well, vice-dukes, at any rate," corrected Ben.
"Farewell Gordon!" Edward shouted as he was hauled away. "Remember me! Avenge me!"

Later on, at Knapford Station, or as it was now known, King Thomas' Palace...
"...So henceforth all buses will be required to keep at least one wheel off the ground at all times," King Thomas issued a decree. "And since Bertie is disobeying this rule, to the dungeon with him!"
"Fascist!" Bertie shouted as he was towed away.
"Now then, my next order is..."
"Hold everything!"
Everyone was amazed to see Sir Topham Hatt standing on the platform. He was wearing a pirate hat and carried a scimitar in his belt.
Thomas gasped. "Sir! I thought you'd been kidnapped by pirates!"
"I was, but I managed to escape, no thanks to you! Fortunately I still remembered my fencing lessons from my university days. After beating off the pirate captain, it was simplicity itself to steer the boat back to the shore."
The Fat Controller angrily seized Thomas' crown. "And what do I find you up to? Establishing a cruel and harsh monarchy in my absence?! I'm surprised at you, Thomas!"
"I'm sorry, sir," said Thomas sadly.
"Very well Thomas, but see that this never happens again," said the Fat Controller. He replaced his pirate hat for his top hat, and turned to the crowd.
"I hereby take back control of the island," he said proudly. "And I decree that all the people held in the dungeon are to be let free."
"Erm, it may be a bit late for Henry," said 'Arry.
"Yeah, he kinda got sentenced to death," said Bert.
And everyone had a good laugh.

Sodor Island Parody Pack