Sodor Island Parody Pack

Gordon In Disguise

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It was a lovely day. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming and that hobo at Knapford station had been moved on by the police. Thomas arrived at the Junction, where he met Gordon.

“Hello, Gordon,” said Thomas. “Why are you wearing a false beard?”

“This isn’t a false beard,” said Gordon. “And I… don’t think we’ve met before, strange engine.”

“Seriously, Gordon, that beard is quite blatantly false,” said Thomas. “Are you trying to start another facial hair craze?”

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Edward. “I hope this isn’t going to be one of those fanfics that you can’t understand unless you’ve read everything else the author’s ever written.”

“I ****ing hope not,” said Mikey, and left.

“I do not know what you are talking about, little tank engine,” said Gordon. “This is a very much real beard. I am new around here. I have heard about this Gordon of whom you speak, and the resemblance between us has been much remarked upon.”

“But you’re saying that you aren’t Gordon,” said Thomas.

“No, I am not Gordon.”

“Where is Gordon?”

“I do not know, I have never met him before.”

“Okay, what’s your name?” asked Thomas.

“Gordon.”

“Nice disguise, idiot.”

“I mean, I am called Gordon, but I am not the same Gordon,” said Gordon. “You know, like there are two Olivers on Sodor.”

“Yeah, what did happen to the Pack?” asked Edward.

“I am not the same Gordon as the Gordon whom you believe me to be. I am Gordon… Ramsay.”

“The chef?” asked Thomas.

“Er, yes. You… ******* junior chefs are… ******* bad at cooking, I am ashamed to be ******* working with ******* you.”

“Now you’re getting the idea,” said Mikey, who must have just arrived again or something, I don’t know.

Thomas sighed. “Give it up, Gordon. We all know your real surname is Reynolds. Take off the disguise. And Boco, you can do the same, you just look like a pathetic ageing drag queen in that get up.”

“I’m not Boco!”

“Oh, sorry, Daisy.”

Sodor Island Parody Pack