It was a lovely day. The birds were singing, the flowers were
blooming and that hobo at Knapford station had been moved on by the police. Thomas arrived at the Junction, where he met Gordon.
Gordon,” said Thomas. “Why are you wearing a false beard?”
“This isn’t a false beard,”
said Gordon. “And I… don’t think we’ve met before, strange engine.”
Gordon, that beard is quite blatantly false,” said Thomas. “Are you trying to start another facial hair craze?”
wait, wait,” said Edward. “I hope this isn’t going to be one of those fanfics that you can’t understand
unless you’ve read everything else the author’s ever written.”
“I ****ing hope not,”
said Mikey, and left.
“I do not know what you are talking about, little tank engine,” said Gordon. “This
is a very much real beard. I am new around here. I have heard about this Gordon of whom you speak, and the resemblance between
us has been much remarked upon.”
“But you’re saying that you aren’t Gordon,” said Thomas.
I am not Gordon.”
“Where is Gordon?”
“I do not know, I have never met him before.”
what’s your name?” asked Thomas.
“Nice disguise, idiot.”
mean, I am called Gordon, but I am not the same Gordon,” said Gordon. “You know, like there are two Olivers on
“Yeah, what did happen to the Pack?” asked Edward.
“I am not the same Gordon
as the Gordon whom you believe me to be. I am Gordon… Ramsay.”
“The chef?” asked Thomas.
yes. You… ******* junior chefs are… ******* bad at cooking, I am ashamed to be ******* working with ******* you.”
you’re getting the idea,” said Mikey, who must have just arrived again or something, I don’t know.
sighed. “Give it up, Gordon. We all know your real surname is Reynolds. Take off the disguise. And Boco, you can do
the same, you just look like a pathetic ageing drag queen in that get up.”
“I’m not Boco!”