Sodor Island Parody Pack

Edward The Great

Kate669's parody of Edward The Great!

Edward is the same colour as Thomas, the same size as James, and has been happily pulling coaches and trucks for seven seasons. But Edward is older and weaker than the other engines, and hasn't had a decent episode to himself for a long, long time. This causes him to feel left out.

One day the Duke and Duchess of Boxford decided to visit their summer house. They came in Spencer, their private stuck-up silver bullet--erm, engine.

When Spencer pulled into Knapford, his driver had exciting news. "You've beaten Gordon's prized speed record!" he proclaimed.

"Of course!" Spencer chuckled. "Oh, sorry - he's right there! No hard feelings, eh, Sausage?"

Gordon glared. "Showoff," he muttered.

"Now then - Spencer will take the Duke and Duchess," ordered the Fat Controller, "and another engine will take their furniture."

"Ooh - ooh - pick me, pick me!" begged Thomas, Percy, Gordon and James all at once.

"You all have other appearances this season," replied the Fat Controller. "It's Edward’s turn, and the furniture is already coupled to him - so he's doing it."

Gordon and James looked dismayed. Thomas and Percy looked sympathetic. Edward just rolled his eyes and set off........slow and steady. "Will-do-my-best-will-do-my-OOF!" he groaned. "This thing is awfully heavy for one little truck! I hope the Fat Controller isn't coming along for the ride!"

Spencer grinned snottily as he passed Edward. "I've won already," he laughed, charging up the hill.

Edward followed, remembering how he'd managed to push Gordon up this hill not once, but twice. With a great deal of effort, he was able to make it to the top and use gravity to gain a mile or two on his opponent. It wasn't enough, though, and Spencer soon vanished again.

At Wellsworth they stopped for lunch. Eventually Edward came clanking through the station, wishing he could stop for a rest.

"Hurry, old boy!" called Spencer. "Can't have you finishing too far behind me."

"Poor old Edward," commented a workman. "He doesn't stand a chance, does he? GO IT, EDWARD
- WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!"

Edward raised an eyebrow as he puffed out of sight, but decided to shrug it off and concentrate on his mission. Unfortunately, the Duke and Duchess finished their tea just as he was passing the signal box - and Spencer shot by him again.

Just a stone's throw from the summer house, the Duke and Duchess decided they wanted to take some pictures. While they were in the field mucking about with the camera, Spencer closed his eyes and drifted off. "Nothing to worry about," he murmured, "it's only Rule 55, after all."

Presently Gordon showed up from the wrong direction, and noticed Spencer napping. "I lost my speed record to this?" he said to himself. "The useless blue steampot must be somewhere behind."

But when he passed Edward a few minutes later, he felt a twinge of guilt. "Well done, Edward!" he called out. "You are a credit to the railway!"

"Finally, somebody noticed!" Edward replied, with a smile that showed off a little too much plastic surgery. As he passed Spencer, he could hear bells and muffled shouting from the sleeping engine's cab. "Nearly there! Nearly there!" he puffed. "Surely they had a better story than this one to put me in this season..."

Spencer woke up at last, to see Edward disappearing down the siding to the summer house. He tried to go fast, but his driver wouldn't let him. "Didn't you see Gordon Takes A Tumble, stupid?" he growled.

"Aren't we forbidden from using the word "stupid" nowadays?" Spencer shot back.

With every click and every clack, Spencer felt the shame of his loss. Edward, on the other hand, was feeling bright and cheerful. "I've won!" he cried. "YATTA! No more lousy Season 8 lead roles for me, thank you - I'm going back to my nice comfortable background!"

"Not yet," interrupted the Duke. "We lied - this isn't our furniture; it's just my wife's travel bags. I figured if you could carry this load, hauling twelve trucks full of furniture would be a cakewalk."

The Duchess glared and slapped her husband. When he regained consciousness, Edward was nowhere to be seen - leaving Spencer to run back to Knapford and bust his boiler lugging the furniture halfway across the countryside.

Sodor Island Parody Pack