CPK: As per usual, it was an awful day on the Island of Sodor. There was a storm coming.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: The weatherman had said that it wouldn't rain, but as usual, he was wrong- stupid get
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: oh...moving on...to the engines.....they were damned miserable

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Arthur was gone again, so another engine had come to take his place. This, of course, was absolutely necessary- despite the engine possibly never being seen again
CPK: The Fat Controller arrived at the sheds.
CPK: "Here, he said is Daisy."
CPK: "She's come to help me get hold of all the donuts that I need to keep myself in shape."
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Come again?" said Percy "You lost me at 'she'."
CPK: "Don't worry," replied the Almighty Fat One, "you'll be one soon enough".
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Or so he thought....the producers felt that females weren't culturally diverse enough- so they wrote Percy as a Spaniard from then on. This, they insisted, had always been the way things were done.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Que?" said Percy
CPK: "Nobody cares what you think, anyway." continued Mr. Blobby in a wooden suit. "you're only needed when we need to do our dictionary bit"
CPK: "However, Daisy must fetch my donuts, my one and only substitute for viagra!"
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "So that explains why you way 23 stone, then?" joked Gordon
CPK: "you are not allowed to joke!" roared wobbles "it's not in your newly scripted character!"
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Well, then what is, kissing your fat tail-end?", he snapped back
CPK: "More or less" he blubbed. He waddled over to Daisy. "Go fetch the donuts/viagra, and bust Arthur out of jail when you pass."
CPK: Gordon decided to say nothing, and set out to plot revenge instead.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Later that day, after delivering TFC's donuts, Daisy met James and told her about how she had to break Arthur out of prison
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Don't be silly, sweety." James told her in a camp voice. "Fatty doesn't care whether you get anything done- so long as he has his donuts...."
CPK: "Oh," she replied "I've got a cameo in some movie thingy anyway, then I get replaced by Emily."/
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "p*$$ the ---- off!" shouted James- his personality again having been rewritten, this time as a Tourette's syndrome sufferer
CPK: Arthur rolled into the sheds, just in time to se a massive hand pick up Dasiy from the set, as James, Gordon and Percy entered a booth entitled: "Personality Alterations Finaliser."
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: For those of you who have no idea how Arthur managed to escape prison....it's not important
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: the other engines, meanwhile, had new personalities once again- James was a serial pyromaniac with an intense pleasure in watching fires burn, Gordon was now suicidally depressed, and Percy-suprsingly- remained a Spaniard, only now with an uncontrollable fetish for suede shoes
CPK: James was bored and set himself on fire, Gordon decided to rush straight into them, and Percy turned them both into a pair of suede shoes.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: for the next 12 hours- Percy stared at one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen
CPK: Arthur strolled up beside him.
CPK: "Don't worry about the loss of them", he said "all the older engines will be comically altered then removed from the series sooner or later."
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "I, however, shall remain a serial killer-...."
CPK: ......now boys & girls, can you guess what happened to Percy?
CPK: "He gets bloddily murdered?"
CPK: THAT'S RIGHT!
CPK: YAY!
CPK: *cues murder scene with fluffy bunnies*
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Arthur was by now known as The Terror of Sodor, and nobody was safe with him around- the villagers decided to do something about it
CPK: The script arrived Tuesday.
CPK: It told them to form an alliance against Arthur, that inevatabely wouldn't work, so no-one really bothered trying.
CPK: The just took the batteries out of Aurthur instead.
CPK: But Arthur was still alive - something had to be done.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: they decided to discuss what exactly that was over a glass of ironbru

CPK: It was a very big glass.
CPK: It contained ironbru.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: big enough for them to all stand above
CPK: ........and go swimming in.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: actually we're only spelling it ironbru for copyright purposes, it was really irnrbu
CPK: None of the villagers knew what any of this had to with anything, however.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: but it was bloody good product placement for irn bru
CPK: Arthur was nearing their village.
CPK: His pneumatic rifle was loaded, and ready.
CPK says:
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: But the villagers were ready too, they had dynamited the bridge conveniently placed immediately outside the village,and Arthur fell into a river
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: it was only up to his wheels, however, and seeing how as physics don't really matter in this show- he was able to continue on with almost no added effort
CPK: (As well as use a pneumatic rifle, no-one knows quite how he does that)
CPK: The irnrbu provided the awnser to stop Arthur!
CPK: All the villages united at throwing their drinks at Arthur, untill he was finally back in jail again.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: which, of course, couldn't have been a lamer fight sequence...but I digress
CPK: Now remember kids, if you want to stop mass murderers from coming to your village, buy lots of irnrbu..... oh, hell IRON BRU!
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: *Irn Bru logo flashes across screen*
CPK: BUY ARTHUR & FRIENDS STUFF!
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!:* 3 minutes later*....."Tune in next week, and watch Sir Handel return....reincarnated as an Indian businessman with a fondness for the lingual arts!"
CPK: Not to mention....... close encouters of the fat kind, subliminal messaging, mass murders, and hours of fun!
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: So tune in.....f------ bastards
CPK: Or we'll send Arthur round.
CPK: *gun click*
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "...and that's a wrap!"