CPK and I have done another Arthur & Friends parody. This one was really just off the cuff and the result
of boredom- hopefully you'll realize the swipes at the show are only for the sake of taking the p*$$, but you may more likely
find the whole parody to be....well, utter p*$$! This one starts with Arthur in prison again after violating parole to shoot
the mayor while he drove past in his motorcade. It is planned for him to brake out using hidden information backmasked into
a Led Zeppelin LP.
CPK: As per usual, it was an awful day on the Island of Sodor. There was a storm coming.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get
You!: The weatherman had said that it wouldn't rain, but as usual, he was wrong- stupid get
Instant Karma's Gonna Get
You!: oh...moving on...to the engines.....they were damned miserable
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Arthur was gone again, so another engine had come to take his place. This, of course,
was absolutely necessary- despite the engine possibly never being seen again
CPK: The Fat Controller arrived at the sheds.
CPK: "Here, he said is Daisy."
CPK: "She's come to help me get hold of all the donuts that I need to keep myself in
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Come again?" said Percy "You lost me at 'she'."
CPK: "Don't worry," replied
the Almighty Fat One, "you'll be one soon enough".
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Or so he thought....the producers felt
that females weren't culturally diverse enough- so they wrote Percy as a Spaniard from then on. This, they insisted, had always
been the way things were done.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Que?" said Percy
CPK: "Nobody cares what you think,
anyway." continued Mr. Blobby in a wooden suit. "you're only needed when we need to do our dictionary bit"
Daisy must fetch my donuts, my one and only substitute for viagra!"
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "So that explains why
you way 23 stone, then?" joked Gordon
CPK: "you are not allowed to joke!" roared wobbles "it's not in your newly scripted
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Well, then what is, kissing your fat tail-end?", he snapped back
"More or less" he blubbed. He waddled over to Daisy. "Go fetch the donuts/viagra, and bust Arthur out of jail when you pass."
CPK: Gordon decided to say nothing, and set out to plot revenge instead.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Later that
day, after delivering TFC's donuts, Daisy met James and told her about how she had to break Arthur out of prison
Karma's Gonna Get You!: "Don't be silly, sweety." James told her in a camp voice. "Fatty doesn't care whether you get anything
done- so long as he has his donuts...."
CPK: "Oh," she replied "I've got a cameo in some movie thingy anyway, then I get
replaced by Emily."/
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "p*$$ the ---- off!" shouted James- his personality again having
been rewritten, this time as a Tourette's syndrome sufferer
CPK: Arthur rolled into the sheds, just in time to se a massive
hand pick up Dasiy from the set, as James, Gordon and Percy entered a booth entitled: "Personality Alterations Finaliser."
Karma's Gonna Get You!: For those of you who have no idea how Arthur managed to escape prison....it's not important
Karma's Gonna Get You!: the other engines, meanwhile, had new personalities once again- James was a serial pyromaniac with
an intense pleasure in watching fires burn, Gordon was now suicidally depressed, and Percy-suprsingly- remained a Spaniard,
only now with an uncontrollable fetish for suede shoes
CPK: James was bored and set himself on fire, Gordon decided to
rush straight into them, and Percy turned them both into a pair of suede shoes.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: for the
next 12 hours- Percy stared at one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen
CPK: Arthur strolled up beside him.
"Don't worry about the loss of them", he said "all the older engines will be comically altered then removed from the series
sooner or later."
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: "I, however, shall remain a serial killer-...."
CPK: ......now boys
& girls, can you guess what happened to Percy?
CPK: "He gets bloddily murdered?"
CPK: THAT'S RIGHT!
*cues murder scene with fluffy bunnies*
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: Arthur was by now known as The Terror of Sodor,
and nobody was safe with him around- the villagers decided to do something about it
CPK: The script arrived Tuesday.
It told them to form an alliance against Arthur, that inevatabely wouldn't work, so no-one really bothered trying.
The just took the batteries out of Aurthur instead.
CPK: But Arthur was still alive - something had to be done.
Karma's Gonna Get You!: they decided to discuss what exactly that was over a glass of ironbru
CPK: It was a very big glass.
CPK: It contained ironbru.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: big enough for them
to all stand above
CPK: ........and go swimming in.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: actually we're only spelling it
ironbru for copyright purposes, it was really irnrbu
CPK: None of the villagers knew what any of this had to with anything,
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: but it was bloody good product placement for irn bru
CPK: Arthur was nearing
CPK: His pneumatic rifle was loaded, and ready.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: But the
villagers were ready too, they had dynamited the bridge conveniently placed immediately outside the village,and Arthur fell
into a river
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: it was only up to his wheels, however, and seeing how as physics don't really
matter in this show- he was able to continue on with almost no added effort
CPK: (As well as use a pneumatic rifle, no-one
knows quite how he does that)
CPK: The irnrbu provided the awnser to stop Arthur!
CPK: All the villages united at throwing
their drinks at Arthur, untill he was finally back in jail again.
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: which, of course, couldn't
have been a lamer fight sequence...but I digress
CPK: Now remember kids, if you want to stop mass murderers from coming
to your village, buy lots of irnrbu..... oh, hell IRON BRU!
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!: *Irn Bru logo flashes across
CPK: BUY ARTHUR & FRIENDS STUFF!
Instant Karma's Gonna Get You!:* 3 minutes later*....."Tune in next week,
and watch Sir Handel return....reincarnated as an Indian businessman with a fondness for the lingual arts!"
CPK: Not to
mention....... close encouters of the fat kind, subliminal messaging, mass murders, and hours of fun!
Instant Karma's Gonna
Get You!: So tune in.....f------ bastards
CPK: Or we'll send Arthur round.
CPK: *gun click*
Instant Karma's Gonna
Get You!: "...and that's a wrap!"