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A very special parody based on the writing style and format of Series 15!

Thomas the Tank Engine is a tank engine called Thomas. He likes being happy and not feeling sad, and he especially likes to pull a Special Special.
One morning, Thomas puffed and chuffed into Brendam Docks. The Fat Controller had an especially Special Special for him:
"Thomas, the children of Sodor are feeling very grumpy. You must jingle these giant keys all across the island to cheer them up."
Thomas gasped. Sitting on a flatbed were the largest set of keys he had ever seen.
"You must jingle the keys for all the children by teatime," the Fat Controller added authoritatively, "because that's when they're due back at the Sodor Prop Museum. You must puff slowly and carefully. I do not want to lose my deposit on them."
"Yes, sir!" Thomas tooted tunefully. "I shall be the jolliest jingler in all Sodor!"
At that euphamism, Percy peeped and puffed into the docks.
"Those keys look very heavy and distracting," he wheeshed worriedly. "I can help you pull them if you like!"
"No, thank you, Percy," Thomas cranked condescendingly, "I am the jolliest jingler on Sodor. I can jingle the keys all by myself."
Thomas was coupled to the flatbed and he puffed and chuffed away, leaving Percy to do something that actually mattered.

Thomas was having fun. The keys made such pretty noises. They jingled and jangled, and dingled and dangled as he clickety-clacked along the track.
"I'm king of the line!
I can do as I please!
For I am the one
With the jangly keys!"

Then Thomas saw James at a signal.
"Those keys are almost as shiny as me!" he gasped grandly. "They must be very heavy and distracting! I can help you pull them if you like!"
"No, thank you, James," Thomas implied ignorantly. "I am the jolliest jingler on Sodor. I can jingle the keys all by myself."
And he puffed and chuffed away, leaving James to wonder why being a 'jolly jingler' was something to be proud of.

Thomas was very happy. The keys were very distracting. They jingled and jangled, and dingled and dangled, and fingled and fangled, and pringled and prangled as as he clickety-clacked along the track.
"I'm king of the line!
I can do as I please!
For I am the one
With the jangly keys!"

Then Thomas saw Charlie at the water-tower.
"Those keys are almost as fun as me!" he chortled cheekily. "They must be very heavy and distracting! I can help you pull them if you like!"
"No, thank you, Charlie," Thomas denied dickishly, "I am the jolliest jingler on Sodor. I can jingle the keys all by myself."
And he puffed and chuffed away, leaving Charlie to continue taking up space.

Thomas was utterly delighted. The keys were now all he could think about. They jingled and jangled, and dingled and dangled, and fingled and fangled, and pringled and prangled, and tingled and tangled, and bingled and bangled as he clickety-clacked along the track.
"I'm king of the line!
I can do as I please!
For I am the one
With the jangly keys!"

Then Thomas saw Charlie at the Steamworks.
"Hang on," Thomas steamed suspiciously, "didn't I just see you at the water-tower?"
"Yes, you did," Charlie laughed loudly, "but I'm an original character and my creators are trying to crank me out as much as they can, despite my complete lack of originality, personality or simple purpose! Ha ha ha! I am so fun! Can I help pull the keys?"
"NOOOO! MINE!" Thomas barked barkily.
And he puffed and chuffed away, leaving Charlie to contemplate why he existed.

Thomas was orgasmic. The keys had a complete grip on his body, mind and soul. They jingled and jangled, and dingled and dangled, and fingled and fangled, and pringled and prangled, and tingled and tangled, and bingled and bangled, and zingled and zangled, and quingled and quangled as he clickety-clacked along the track.
"I'm king of the line!
I can do as I please!
For I am the one
With the jangly keys!"

Then there was trouble. The string holding the keys down broke and they jingled and jangled into the sky and out of sight.
Thomas felt badly.
"I feel badly," he rumbled redundantly, "I puffed and chuffed so hard that I broke the string! Now I have no keys to jingle and jangle for the children. They will be cross and stop buying my merchandise. I am not the jolliest jingler on Sodor after all."
Then an idea flew into Thomas' funnel.
"Perhaps if I sing an incredibly annoying song, Mr Keys will be able to find me again!"
Then a proper idea flew into Thomas' funnel.
"I shall go to the Sodor Search and Rescue Centre and get help. I haven't plugged that glorified playset since yesterday."

Thomas puffed and chuffed to the Sodor Search and Rescue Activity Centre. Percy, James and Charlie were all conveniently there, as were all the other engines. They were waiting for emergencies, preparing Special Specials and staring stupidly at the seagulls.
"I have lost the jingly, jangly keys," Thomas said sadly. "They were very heavy and distracting. I cannot jingle the keys all by myself. I am not the jolliest jingler on Sodor. Can you help me jingle them?"
All the engines beamed from buffer to buffer.
"Of course we will!" they chuffed cheerfully; Percy, James and Charlie blocking Thomas' earlier mistreatment of them from their memories.

Thomas and the other engines puffed and chuffed behind Harold the Helicoptor. He hovered and bothered all over Sodor, looking for the jingly, jangly keys.
"I see them!" Harold hooted at last. "That homeless person is trying to eat them!"
Harold buzzed and blew the homeless person away and lifted the jingly, jangly keys into the sky. They were very heavy and distracting, but Harold lifted the heavy keys back onto the flatbed with no trouble at all.
"Now we shall puff and chuff slowly and carefully!" Thomas peeped patronizingly. "Together, we shall be the jolliest jinglers on Sodor!"
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Ferdinand fired out from the very back. Everyone, quite rightly, ignored him.

Soon all the engines on Sodor were pulling the single flatbed of giant novelty keys all over the island. They jingled and jangled, and dingled and dangled, and fingled and fangled, and pringled and prangled, and tingled and tangled, and bingled and bangled, and zingled and zangled, and quingled and quangled, and 5ingled and 9angled, and #ingled and Čangled as they clickety-clacked along the track.
The children all cheered and clapped. Everyone had forgotten about what a complete waste of time, effort and talent the entire series of events had been. Thomas' beamed as his boiler bubbled:

"I'm king of rubbish kids shows!
I can do as I please!
For who needs real effort
When you've jangly keys?"

And everyone laughed!